


Murderer

by kanoitrace



Series: Of Elves and Nobles [5]
Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Gen, Mention of Character Death, mention of murder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-23
Updated: 2016-02-23
Packaged: 2018-05-22 18:06:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6089512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kanoitrace/pseuds/kanoitrace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kaiah Tabris ponders what hurts the most about how she came to be with Duncan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Murderer

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place before all other entries thus far in this verse. Happens after Duncan conscripts Kaiah and while he's off meeting with the Couslands.

_She's a murderer._

 

The thought sits heavy on her conscience. The worst part though may be that she thinks she could handle that moniker. It isn't the blood on her hands (or on the dress she has stuffed into the bottom of her knapsack) that has her sick to her stomach. The problem isn't that she's a murderer, but that she's a disappointment. It's that she's ruined the lives of the people she loves, or in the case of Nelaros, the people she was meant to love. He's dead because of her. He wasn't even her husband yet; they'd been acquainted only a few hours, yet he still lost his life for her.

 

She runs her fingers across the wedding band she'd found on him, the dry skin of her thumb getting caught in the grooves.

 

She stills the motion suddenly, just as she does every time the thought that she's going to rub it smooth crosses her mind. She wants to do his memory justice, and the best way she knows how is to safeguard the ring he made for her. It seems the least she can do for the man that died to save her.

 

She drops her hands to her lap, taking the coarse fabric of her skirt between her fingers and rubbing at that instead, her thoughts drifting to Soris. The guilt seeps deeper into her bones, an ache she can't escape. Poor Soris, suffering in the dungeons of Fort Drakon. It should be her there. Valora had made it abundantly clear that she felt the same.

 

The final topping on the cake that should have been her wedding day had been the disappointment in her father's eyes. It wasn't there because she'd killed the arl's son, or even because she'd failed Soris or Shianni. Instead, it was there because she wasn't following through with the plans he'd had in mind for her. That look, along with the sorrow in his voice, is what had turned the thousands of fissure breaks into gaping maws. She'd wanted to fall into his arms, sobbing that she'd tried to be a good girl for him, really she had, but Duncan and the city guard had been looming over her, so she'd quickly changed out of her bloodied wedding dress and packed a solitary bag. Without a second thought, she'd stuffed the offending garment into the bottom as a reminder of her almost life.

 

She didn't even say goodbye to Shianni; she couldn't bring herself to face her.

 

Her eyes land once more on the small bag beside her, thoughts on the ruined dress and all it symbolizes.

 

Yes, she thinks, Kaiah Tabris is a murderer, of far more than just men.

 


End file.
